so when i was in philly i bought first a plastic green lantern ring as a novelty gift for him, but then i went to the city where i first got his blue button; it stood for hope. i had so many hopes and dreams at that time, i kind of laugh looking back at it, at how naive i was. i couldn’t believe that i was spiraling so recklessly and senselessly into whatever it was i had with him. (i dislike saying things like relationship, love, etc, and i don’t think they should be labled anyway, those things are too good for it. that in itself is probably why i’m writing this diatribe.) as i stood in that slightly muggy-smelling comic book store, surrounded by overweight and underestimated boys and men alike, i stuck my hand in the button bowl and danced my fingers through it, kind of like sifting through overly augmented rice kernels. when i let my hand resurface, within my palm i stared with awestruck eyes at the two gems that braved the pack to present themselves to me. they were two violet buttons, i gulped back my disbelief; they stood for love. i look back on that day bittersweetly, and try to decipher the sign that was given to me. what did it mean? was i to give the other to him, and keep one for myself? was i supposed to buy one and he would one day find the other for us to exchange? or was it just a coincidence, a sick joke made by God, the Fates, and whoever else is there to separate us all. i realize now that the answer is in the basic mechanics of those two buttons. open them both and they prick the bearers. the wrath of this duo just wouldn’t be appeased unless these un/lucky (you decide) souls decided with either courage or stupiditiy to fully lunge into the abyss of the pin. what they would find at the other side is that it could be safely tucked in and held there forever, if only they were to have the hutzpah to make those two holes to safely secure the violet button over the bones that protected their hearts. the question now, wasn’t what to do with those two buttons, but who? although we all make mistakes (sorry miss philippines) and we try to retract them all, i hoped with all that i could that i would one day be able to give you the other violet button. inevitably, you have proved yourself unworthy of this dollar pin, and thus my priceless love (i’m a conceited bitch, tell me one more time). i am currently surrounded by relationships that are dead, dying, and under investegation for manslaughter. i hoped that today you would have given me the hope i needed to believe in it once again, but alas, my dear, you did me wrong and cast me off uncourteously (haha, managed to get greensleeves in there). i trusted you, with everything. summer romances are a waste of time, i wanted more than that out of you. you always said that i work too much, but i fear that a career is all i will have for myself, because all i really want is to settle down somewhere. because it doesn’t matter how much you make or what you do, but the people you do it with. but, i guess, at least i can control that. playing with fire always only lasts for so very long. i wanted a forever, but i have my pride. i’m not going to forever be at your feet. you say that i’m being a jerk saying that i’m always right, but hey, there’s no denying it. i am right. and you ask who’s to say that that is true? it’s not some higher being and it’s definitely not me. it’s you. your actions, your choices, what you do. don’t think that i don’t have faith, but as i’ve said, God doesn’t help those who don’t help themselves. wake up call: no one is perfect, even for you, and she’s not going to fall onto your lap. realize that. and if you find her, in your dreams, i hope that i make a good story for her like you did with your other ex’s for me. it paints a very chivalrous portrait of yourself, which, i’m not even gonna lie, is part of why you meant so much to me. all in all, these are my last words to you. i’m not going to pull an all out manhunt for you like others, and i’m not going to say how i feel on this one post, you know me better than that. (yes you, because i hope you still care enough despite your downward spike to read this.) but i will say that i hope you to never be scared, to man up to realize the truth while still preserving the boy inside you, to learn to run after those who care about you, to stop trying to beat someone and really listen for once, and i even want you, and for everyone for that matter, to know that it’s never too late to appreciate the ken tanakas in this world. they may be second place, but they really do love like no other. but most of all, i pray that you find your disney princess, one day. you may have been my aladdin, but i was in not enough ways your jasmine, and i apologize to you for being myself. with that said, i say good bye to that title and this, as my first and last post signing as it. it was fun tumbling with you and with this account while it lasted. all i can say now is, i’ll enjoy forgetting you. time for this certified super villain to retire; the “hero” always wins. now you know why i was scared to talk to you today.
“never make someone a priority if they just make you an option”
always number one in the hood,
Ate Awesome
hello handsome.
nose. 5'little. i'm a certified super villain.
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1. good music taste.
2. makes me feel lovely.
3. spontaneous, sweet.
but good oral hygiene should really be in there too.
1. lying. paranoia is induced with good reason.
2. distance. if you don’t like me, then don’t like me and don’t pretend that you do.
3. authoritativeness. i have a mind, body, and soul that is all mine. i will give it to you if i choose, and when i do you will be blinded by the honesty and vulnerability in which i present it to you, but you will not dictate when that will be.
4. i don’t provide closed captioning for those hard of hearing. listen the first time. i don’t like to repeat myself.
but on a lighter note…
1. misogyny. (LMFAO)
2. tastelessness.
3. narrow mindedness.
4. lack of spontaneity.
actually, i have a lot of turn offs. that could be why i don’t like many boys. xD
“Love is all a matter of timing. It’s no good meeting the right person too soon or too late.” 2046
“The Planet and the Radio Dish”
Taken at the Parkes Radio Telescope in New South Wales. Have a look at the full 3D view here!
I’m a super, I’m a nothing,
I’m a no one going nowhere fast
But I don’t care.
I really enjoy this picture for reasons I cannot explain.
Whatever comes,” she said, “cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.
— A Little Princess, Frances Hodgson Burnett (via fuckyeahliteraryquotes)
Afghan children wait to receive basic medical care and clothing on Camp Clark, Khowst province, Afghanistan, Dec. 22, 2009.
Photo by Andrew Smith, United States of America.
Beautiful
Ugh, I could just kiss them.
(via breathejasmeet)
